Working in an international corporation

 (this article was originally published on 30.06.2010) .. 

After not a long I was beginning to perceive a tendency to dominate and control my learning process, each and every step of it, by one of the mates, who herself was obviously full of fear, insecurity, inner rage and with a very little knowledge of her work in that period. Her tendency to get any vague situation (for her 'a possible threat') under control was understandable. Due to my strong disagreement and denial of such domination (I took it personally and felt angry for the sort of 'crossing over my personal space' mistreatment, because of her manners for me not being acceptable), her reaction was also personal (she as a person 'got rejected', once again in her life :) So, the communication failed. I felt lonely and uncapable to define and to defend my needs. (Imagine how the poor girl could have felt) .. 

During about first 7 months or such, we had no team manager assigned at all. Not counting an over-occupied, rarely seen stand-in. That wasn't enough for us rookies, and I felt angry for that 'team orphanhood' asking myself about the 'shit' our superiors did and how, if they were not even present. In the meantime, there were few other different communication failures arising among the other mates, when finally our Italian manager had entered ..

The new smart chap did it smart and simple. For him, not for us. Too quickly, the team wasn't fully hired yet, he chose the one. How odd.. I mean the way he did it, not the result. The team-coordinator was nominated. Nobody asked anybody about their opinions, voting process and criteria were opaque and miscommunicated. I got suspicious about the ´quality´ of certain internal procedures. Later on, in the light of other occurrences, I also became suspicious about the management of the project itself, referring to the applied priorities and values, tolerated incompetence and ambiguity, and the lack of healthy radicalism ('notonlyrhetoricalhypocrisy') which turned to become a pride. I began to ask myself if this was what I wanted to be part of ..

Without having a mutual support of her teammates, the team-coordinator found herself forced to force the situation. She did it naturally, with pleasure. Someones call it leadership :) To be honest, with the support of her manager, later another one who came in next, also with a little feedback of mine, and of course with her effort and her special 'don' we all have experienced, she did well. In the course of the next year she managed to turn the climate positively and get supported by the team. Mainly based on dependency. But she is not to blame. Similarly, notwithstanding certain person's and my managers' politics, I achieved to warm and raise the atmosphere, that's to say form a particular part of our team climate. Despite that same dependency. But I am not to blame. Taking into consideration our team-coordinator's really aggressive nature, or my occasional controversy, and naturally introverted behaviour, the both stories represent a real success. After other new manager came, he had found no better way than follow the drafted path, support the power structure, to do it easier for himself. Anyhow, the continuous fighting process within the team (the new manager also fell down and took his part) made me feel sad, angry, deceptioned, tired, but decisive.

I decided to learn of it, communicate, and create, if possible the mirror of awareness for some people. Including myself. Finally, I learned a great deal, and quit :) 

Daniel Godány, Remedios o.z.